PARTY GALS GUIDE TO THROWING HOUSE PARTIES.

So. Here you are, three people are crying, everyone’s on Internet bought drugs and listening to shitty trap music, you think you saw your friend hook up with some guy… Where is she? Where are you? Where are your friends?

Do you even have any friends?

Ultimately, you’re unsatisfied. Ultimately, good shit doesn’t change. You know there has to be better than this. Somebody could do better than this. You could do better than this.

But when it comes to throwing a safe but banging house party, there are no guides to help you through the darkness of over priced red cups?!

Now I’m no expert, but I’m also not your dad who thinks that 80’s rock is still hip. So let’s get to it.

ONE MONTH BEFORE:

• GET YOUR PARENTS’ OR GUARDIES’ PERMISSION. Also permission from the venue you intend on hosting it at if it isn’t at your place.

• I know it blows, but if you are under 18 it is a necessity to have adults on the premises. Make sure there is authority is anything gets out of control.

• The venue must be safe and look fking good.

If it’s kinda grimmy, just run with it, throw some fairy lights up idk. Most importantly it must be able to hold the amount of people you plan on inviting.

•If it is inside your house, make sure ALL valuables are hidden and locked away, all glass wear is out of reach, wires and chords removed and doors locked or taped off.

• You MUST have decent speakers. No, your iPod dock will not make the cut. BASS is a necessity; so make sure it’s loud and full of fire. Performance amps are a go-to, so call a muso friend, hire some or use your own if you have some.

• Create your list of guests, do it via Facebook (still relevant we swear), create an event, and clarify rules and restrictions. (Be as loose as you want in the realms of safety)

• Give your neighbours notice of the party (if they’re not crazy), give them start and finish times.

ONE WEEK BEFORE:

• Create a written guest list to have at the door which consists of full names and emergency contact numbers. If you have a large sum of people this is a great way to make sure everyone is supposed to be at your party and not a gate crashing statan child.

• Plan your party food. Make sure you cater for everyone’s dietary requirements and don’t give anyone a swollen wind pipe. Chips and dip + sweets are great. Finger food is where it’s at (not the kind you get at family dinners, the kind that’s just nice enough to taste good sober)

• Drinks. Make sure you provide sodas and water so people can mix their drinks and stay hydrated. If you intend on allowing alcohol, make sure its BYO because that’s hella expensive if not. If you are under the legal drinking age, I’m not encouraging drinking…

• CREATE THE PLAYLIST: this is the most important part of the party. The style of music will see the whole atmosphere, and if it’s a house party we want a killer dance vibe. Choosing music for a party is like a waiter choosing the food in a restaurant. In short- now is not the time for your indie/metal/jazz music bullshit (unless that’s the vibe you’re going for).

• If you can afford it, hiring a DJ always is super cool but honey think of the cash money.

THE DAY BEFORE:

-Okay, it's quick fire time-

• Prep your food so its ready to be cooked/ made tomorrow.

• Organise decorations if you are having a theme.

• Create a space for dancing next to the speakers.

• Set out bins around, and cleaning products at the ready like brooms or sanitizer for any spills or smashes (people will fuck things up, that's life)

• Double-check your music and lights are working fine.

• Deep clean your house or back garden, mow lawns, set furniture in a way that’s easy to move past. Decide where food will be placed, set up a chill out area away from the music and a dancing area.

DAY OF, HONEY CAKES!:

• Cook all of the snacks and get food ready to be served for the party.

• Set out food and drinks along with disposable cups and cutlery if needed. Napkins are always handy.

• Have your guest list set out and ready for people arrival and mark them off as soon as they arrive.

• Start your music as soon as the party time starts or as your first guest arrives. Chill for a bit while the hype builds, you can't rush a good thing.

And now here you are, surrounded by a bunch of people you don't care about, having the time of your life.

Dance, chat, drink.

…

.Party Safe.