PRO RECOVERY ONLINE

I would be proud and honestly surprised to find a girl who hasn't struggled with their body image. It is something we are all taught to be hyper-aware of from a young age by every facet of society. But there is a line between low self-esteem or poor body image and the kind of self-hatred that acts as a catalyst for the development an eating disorder. Something 15% of all women will experience at some point in their lifetime.

(Edit for definition)

eating disorder - .any of a range of psychological disorders characterized by abnormal or disturbed eating habits

Eating disorders are psychological illnesses wherein the victim feels overweight and thus a compulsion to control their eating by engaging in harmful behaviour such as: restricting calories, purging, or over-exercising. There are a number of studies that show a correlation between disorders such as anorexia and perfectionism; what we might call in pop culture a type A personality. Suffers tend to fall into a particular demographic, usually females from economically privileged backgrounds, with teenagers suffering the most frequently. Eating disorders are the third most common chronic illness for young females and represent the second leading cause of mental disorder for young females.

But there are thousands of sufferers with other stories, with the rate of male contraction growing at an exuberant rate. And there is nearly always a correlation with other Mental Heath illnesses.

It can hit different people for different reasons, a need for control, the denial of a changing body, appeals for social validation. But the bottom line remains true that it is always, always harmful and very difficult to overcome. As a number of sufferers grow, doubling between 1995 and 2005, the ways in which eating disorders are perpetuated grows too. In our digital age, a harmful online trend is emerging. With those affected by illness coming together online on what are called 'pro-anorexia' (pro-ana) or 'pro-bulimia' (pro-mia) websites. These websites operate under the guise of a recovery network for eating disorders, a place for peer connection. When in reality they are anything but. Instead, they are a congregation hall of fasting tips and 70 calorie meal plans, whose damage is only strengthened by the fact they completely peer lead. Sick people making each other sick, encouraging fellow sufferers to continue not seeking help and furthering their illness. A hotbed of negativity and a breeding ground of self-hatred. And they grow in numbers every day.

I myself have been affected by poor body image and been sucked into eating disorder patterns. I have scrolled through the #proana tags, wishing to be the skeletal girl in the pastel bra or the girl in the black and white photo with legs that look like unwrapped bone. Used them as inspiration, a point of self-comparison. All while being encouraged by other sufferers in the 'pro-eating community'. What do I say when my ana “buddy” asks me if she was allowed to eat once slice of apple for dinner. What I tell the boy who tells me he wants to fast for a week and I know he'll collapse again if he does it too long. Pro-ana forums, websites, blogs and other platforms showed me pictures of smiling girls who I can't promise are alive today, who taught me not to eat enough and exercise too much. Striving for control in all the wrong areas in all the wrong ways. I remember waiting for 7pm to roll around because I would run for an hour ever night, as I was told to do by the "how to loose weight" on these blogs and chant in my head "Feet together, thighs apart, fail your kidneys and stop your heart." as if it was a battle cry to continue running and doing so much damage to my health. Reading back on this now, alarm bell are rining that i needed help and im so grateful to have been able to claw out of this sickness with this help and support of a close friend and veganism and most importantly shut the pro-ana community out of my life.

To those out there struggling, I know how scary it seems to get better. But it doesn't have to be. Be stronger than the voices and fight for your happiness, your self-salvation. You are unique and have a whole life ahead of you. You were brought into this life for a bigger purpose and don't you dare let that slip through your fingers because you are being manipulated by food.

Please, if you see any pro-eating disorder accounts on social media, report them and move on. Don't let them pull you in, don't engage with them, don't invest an ounce of your time and energy into something that will only hurt you. Be aware. Be strong. Be kind to yourself.

Signs of a developing eating disorder to keep an eye out for in friends and yourself:

Excessive dieting, binge eating or exercising

Use of laxatives or vomiting (e.g. frequently going to the bathroom during or after meals

Avoidance of social situations involving food or wanting to eat alone

Excessive body checking behaviours (e.g. repeatedly weighing self, pinching waist)

Change in clothing style (e.g. wearing loose-fitting clothing to hide weight loss)

Secretive behaviours around food (e.g. hiding food, throwing food out)

Preoccupation with body appearance, weight and food.

Dry skin

Dry or chapped lips

Poor circulation resulting in pins and needles and/or purple extremities

Headaches

Brittle fingernails

Bruising easily

Frail appearance

Tooth decay

Decrease or complete loss of menstruation in girls

For more see:www.headspace.org.au

If you are struggling with body image, eating, or anything related please seek help. I promise you nothing good comes of continuing this lifestyle, and I know how hard it is to break this cycle but if your average 16-year-old Av Hope can, I know you can.

Places to seek help.

Emergency Services

000

Lifeline Australia

13 11 14

Kids Helpline

1800 55 1800

http://au.reachout.com/tough-times/somethings-not-right/eating-disorders

http://thebutterflyfoundation.org.au/

Your local GP.

Trusted friends and family that will help you get better